The Stupidgale Diary

Another Australia Joke

2012-01-21T15:48:00.001+08:00

Scene: Resting with the opponents after a friendly tennis match.A: So... What do you do for a living?B: Oh.. I'm farmer... How about you?A: Wow! Cool! So do you have your own farm? I'm a student...B: No no.. Not farmer.. I'm a FARMER..A: Huh? What do you mean?B: A farmer... I work in a FIRE stationA: ...oh.... (-.-;)y-~~~Courtesy of JB

Early 2012 Confession

2012-01-08T20:57:00.006+08:00

I feel that I am beginning to enjoy going to church… not because of the social activity there – but because unlike other sermons that I had attended before, Pastor S who preaches in the GC church is funny and practical in applying Christianity to life… Before I wasn’t a huge fan of religion because I don’t feel the connection between religion and life… all I got was that we should worship HIM but there’s no practicality to life mentioned… god seems like an animated figure - a guy who have all the power to make your life miserable but yet is also the same guy who will give you all the miracle as long as you believe and worship him… which was sadly the exact reason that hinders my acceptance to religion… because I simply cannot agree to religion if it has no connection to how we as human being relates to and behave in life… But my view to that has recently changed… secretly I think I am beginning to believe…

2011 Recap

2012-01-02T20:14:00.003+08:00

Life is like a drama, and in 2011 I finally understand what it meant with that.

In 2011, I started off at the beginning of the year with a series of melts down with emotional stability. Despite thinking that I had closed my chapter happily in year 2010, the torment followed through to 2011 where I encountered not only changes in my relationship but also in my career and environment. I felt demoralised and disappointed by my family and also for moving to a place so foreign leaving my circle of friends and the blanket of comfort to a place where everyone around me is of different colour. It’s the first time in my life where I learn that ‘change’ is so malicious and unkind because it will not give you any time to get use to and will only throw tonnes and tonnes of uncertainty to you while you are still learning to balance yourself on a highline…

As a result, I shed not only my weights but also tears of frustration… Several times during the beginning of 2011 I wanted to just quit Australia and move back to my little hut in KK or just go backpacking in Australia and settle in small town but conscious sense kept pulling me back to reality leaving me no choice but to swallow the bitterness of responsibilities…

It felt like forever…

Then all of a sudden in mid-year the dark clouds just suddenly lifted and I felt like I am reborn … I was clear headed again and things are starting to work around me… My career was moving in the correct direction and I’m getting use to the strange coloured people around me… only burden at that time was to sell the house back in Malaysia… So I worked remotely looking for competent agent and alas I found one… coupled with support from the angel that visited me during my 27th birthday in UK and moral support from JB, finally, in the 3rd quarter of the year I found a buyer, hurdled to get the contract right then signed away the burden… phew!
So in the blink of an eye, 2011 passed just like that…

But is it really settled? Unfortunately no… there’s still the settlement to be done and I’m once again caught in hiccups… But this time I have decided to take a different approach, so rather than taking the whole thing up by myself, I’ve decided to share it… But will it pull through? We’ll wait and see…

2011-12-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes happiness are short lived.

Last month I was planning for a diving trip and I was happy then… but today it seems like I had to cancel my plans because things aren’t going as planned… (-_-; ) … Then all of the sudden my days are grey again…

2011-11-20T15:38:00.007+08:00

My circle of friends in Perth is expanding…!

Well not precisely like back home in Malaysia and Singapore that big type circle of friends but I’m getting there… and I am feeling great about it... (^_^) They are friends from TAFE Japanese class that I had enrolled to… Age range: Various

Because the course itself is a self-interest class to develop our knowledge in the Japanese language most of the students eventually will wanna go abroad to Japan to travel someday… in fact some of them did it and would like to go back again… which is one thing in common amongst us that then lead to other common things like study better for tests (lots of this this term), setting up study group and lunches after class… anyway, next week is the final week for this term and after that it’s two months of holidays till Feb/ March (?)

On the other hand, JB is also burning the mid night oil these days for his finals and then it’ll be another new year all over again...

November

2011-11-03T19:21:00.006+08:00

– isn’t it funny how time flies? And for all you know it’s going to be April soon! haha.. Maybe not that soon... But I'm excited already!! -->Which then lead me to book in the two weeks holiday for next year’s longest personal trip that I’ll ever take off work... YuhoOOo!! On the other hand I am also making plans to get into the water soon! **Double hurray!!!**

Affraid of the Water

2011-10-30T14:53:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've entered into the water and now I am feeling abit nervous that I might have forgotten how to swim! I miss swimming and diving but most of all I miss just sitting by the beach – feeling the sea breeze and listening to the waves with a beer on my hand accompanied by some soft music playing at the back scene…

Yups… I still hadn’t given up on the idea of building a place by the beach… and I have to admit that once in a while I’ll search the internet to look for the perfect island/ location in google map to house my sanctuary…

But how could I execute my plans? And where can I begin?

Life as it is...

2011-10-22T18:47:00.005+08:00

We will never know the whole story of a book until we had finished reading the book. Then even after reading the whole book and people think they understand the book but their understanding might not be entirely correct - simply because the reader is interpreting the content of the book through their own experience. If the reader really understand the objective of the writer when reading the book, then it means the reader and writer are both on the same level of linguistic. Which is why, a book read by different people can have different meanings to the people who are reading them.

Same with this photo, can you guess what time was it when the photo was taken?

............................................................................................................... it was 5.30am in the morning. Such is life... you will never know the real story unless it is you...

The Short Tounge

2011-10-15T18:23:00.010+08:00

My first interaction with a real Aussie (other than my step family) was when I went for a Zumba class with mum few months back. I had the impression that the boy at the tilt didn’t want to serve me because I thought I heard him said “I cannot help you” instead of “How can I help you”! Sure enough my temperature starts boiling and I gave that boy a little fright when I raised my voice and question back “What do you mean you can’t help me??”

_____

Having been in Australia in for 10 months++, I had concluded that Australia have their own English. Because to survive in Australia, somehow it’s not English that one needs to understand but instead it’s the Australian short tounge.

There are a lot of words and pronunciations that the Aussie’s will use and cast a cloud of quizzical look to us who have been watching US TV and learning UK English. For example ‘tha’ for ‘thanks’ and ‘paw-paw’ for ‘papaya’?

But then again, who am I to comment as I am only a Malaysian with a Man-glish accent and wears a head of black hair… *wink - of course its black!*

But should I be ashamed of it - When I am using English with an accent? Or should I be proud when I am using English that nobody understand?

日本へ行きます‼

2011-10-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

Yeaps..! We are going to Japan!!
The dates are already set for next year... !! Hahas.. Japan here we come!

Renovator Needed

2011-09-29T20:55:00.007+08:00

I went back to KL, Malaysia accompanied by JB, a couple of days back to sign the Sales and Purchase (SNP) for the house which I still own with Monkey. It was a 5 days 4 nights trip – thought it was going to be a long vacation but turns out good time always fly by un-noticeably.
Apart from the normal gathering with my best buddies, I am also finally able to put a face on my lawyer and house agent after many months of corresponding by email and phone calls with them. And after meeting both of them, I now understand why there’s so many friction that arise between both of them – simply because one is too compliant and another is too aggressive. Anyway since the SNP is already in the process, I am crossing my all of my fingers (+abet’s and JB’s) and hope that there will be less problem to arise from this deal going forward.
I am however abit disappointed with the condition of the house. Given that it is only approx. 5 years old, hairline cracks can be seen everywhere in the house… apart from that, leaks from the drainage of the top floor toilet that leaks through till the second floor toilet also gave me a disgusted feeling… This just proves the quality of a house that is built in Malaysia nowadays…
So I guess what’s left to do now is to look for a contactor to rectify the condition of the house as promised to the purchaser as a courtesy…
I’ve start looking for some contractors online… but not sure if it’ll bear the result that I want… hm…

Sayonara?

2011-09-18T15:00:00.004+08:00

First term for the Certificate II in Japanese is finally over! Yaata! And I’ve passed all core elements in first attempt…

Studying Japanese in TAFE as my first-hand experience in the Australian education system is really something for me… being a typical Asian (Malaysian and Singaporean or probably even Hongkies, Taiwanese, etc… alike) I was so focused on the grades that I am going to get… so like all Asians, I went to the course thinking about how it’ll suck if I got a C/D on my paper, worrying & stressed. But to my amusement, there is no grading system in TAFE (Technical and Further Education) – which is equivalent to polytechnics in Malaysia. All they have is a competent/ non-competent grading… so no matter how my papers looked like – whether it’s with flying colours or not, it won’t show in the certificate… (o_O!) huh?

Anyway, here’s something to share which is always well misinterpreted by non-japanese speakers.

Sayonara – indicates that speaker does not expect to see the person spoken to before she “turns a page in her life”; not until a few day arrives, or until fate brings the two person together again, or until they meet again in the other world… (source: An Integrated Course in Elementary Japanese I, Genki) – Which interprets to me: use it in the case of a break-up...? hm… sure comes in handy if you want to do it without being too straight forward… *wink*wink*

So, what’s the correct way to say Goodbye to someone whom you expect to see fairly soon again? --> “Jaa, mata!” would be more appropriate… *grin*

Feel My Heart Beat

2011-09-17T23:55:00.004+08:00

This year Raya is celebrated like it never existed. I totally forgot about it - that’s the first issue, another is because no one in Perth is celebrating it…!

GeeeZ.. I still remember last Raya was a lonely one… I ‘ran’ to Johor because I was alone in Singapore... It happened kinda impromptu actually… I blogged about the looniness first then decided that “this is not it…!” So, I packed my bag and went for the border… while trying to contact Cat (a Malaysian friend who’s also working in Singapore – and still is, who owns a house in Johor at that time…) just trying my luck to get hold of her so I can crash at her place for the night…

Anyway, JB ended up in Johor with me too…! I can’t remember how/ why JB had gone with me back then, but it was at a time that I didn’t know he’s got his heart on me yet… I guess he might have sounded casual that I say: “Yeah why not? Come along and I’ll show you Johor.” <-- sounds like me?

So we went to the movies, karaoke, and talked cock… Then as the night comes, we parted ways as I went back with Cat to her house… girl talked and played with her dog – snoopy... *wink*

And I guess that’s about it… my memory of the last Raya that I have celebrated…

I’m getting used to it now… missing out on the celebrations back home… sometimes it feels like I am losing my identity… but I prayed that it’s not the case… because every inch inside of me still feel and beat like a Malaysian…

cock here means Malaysian/ Singaporean way of talking none-sense/rubbish

The End: Get The World Moving 2011

2011-09-11T18:21:00.004+08:00

For the past 4 months, the pedometer has been my everyday companion.
At first I was very enthusiastic – wanting to score higher steps everyday but as the day passes, I was dragging myself to be active. Partly because I am tied up with my work – which is the old excuse, but mostly it’s because I’ve grown tired of that little thingy… clinging onto my clothes while catching quizzical stares from by-passer… OUCH!

Anyway at the end of Get The World Moving 2011, I recorded 97,530 steps! – Not really the result that my boss is looking forward to… but it’s something he’s keeping to himself… *wink*

a, i, u, e, o

2011-08-03T20:03:00.005+08:00

I'm learning Japanese - *wink*wink*

Enrolled in the TAFE certificate II for Japanese language mainly because I wanted to learn something new... get my mind focus on something... and also to expand my circle of 'acquitances' in Perth.

I came to realise that moving to a new place is not that easily adaptable especially when there is a cultural and social gap.

Breaking the communication barrier is already a problem to begin with... to add it up with other things like being in a foreign place with no friends just make the experience worst.

I wanted to go out and dance but after an ordeal of passing out with just a couple of drinks made me wary of the things that they serve in the pubs. Then I wanted to go out and dive but the weather is just not on my side. The cold gets into your bone and it rains all day. Gave me an impression that even my friend up there is also not on my side. All these are making me even more home sick. I miss not only the company of people around me but also the feeling when I'm dranch in the sweet tropical sweat...

Mum has decided to move to Brisbane... ** dumb struck**

So I'm left with my a, i, u, e, o ...

Baby Steps

2011-08-02T21:37:00.002+08:00

8th months in Perth and I still hadn't made any new friends apart from my colleagues and afew church members.The isolation is really getting on my nerve so last week I made the first move by organizing 'a' activity to 'so-called' improve my relationship with the less controversial group - by inviting my colleagues to join a 12km fund raising walk on the City of Surf.I didn't thought they would agree to it at first - cause we seldom talk anything apart from work - so when they agreed to come along, I suddenly felt like I am a little dis-orientated because it's been a while since I've organized anything... Feels like little baby steps...

30 and Single

2011-07-14T17:17:00.010+08:00

I had a good read from this blogger named 30 and single during lunch today and just thought of sharing her story by blogging about it. There's been two articles written by 30 and single to date and both revolved around her fiction name.

Though both the introduction line to her entry may seem like it's a repetion of the other, I still find her writing amusing.

http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/health/blogs/show/2508374/are-you-single-and-30

Someday

2011-07-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

I have hoped that it would be an easy process, but it’s not as easy as it may seem to be. Though I may have made up my mind clearly, but the memories will hang around no matter how hard I tried to push it away… People say that guilt is a senseless feeling... but if it is so meaningless then why is it after an occurrence of an incident, sometimes, we will still be hung up by the event…?
For the past 7 months, somehow I feel that I had changed a little. I have become passive and gloomy. Lost. But someday I believe I’ll get over it… all I need is just a little time and courage to let it go entirely… someday…

Grounded

2011-07-09T13:38:00.003+08:00

I’m grounded...

Won’t be flying of to anywhere in the next two-three months even if I wanted to. Just noticed/ remembered that my passport is almost expired. So I had no choice but to renew it because I can’t really go anywhere with only 6 months left of validity in my passport. Unless of course if I apply for an emergency temporary passport... hm...

Siouxsie & The Banshees - The Passenger

2011-06-26T11:34:00.003+08:00

Not sure what is wrong with my music sense now a days... but I find that this old band in the 70's are pretty cool in a way... *wink* and I can relate to their song 'The Passenger' because we are one but another passenger in life... riding... riding... to where ever life takes us...

2011 Bali

2011-06-15T21:31:00.013+08:00

The last time I visited Bali was 2 years back with the girls. It was a tired trip that one and I can still remember pretty well that Bali was a place that I’d want to go back for another holiday. But after this recent trip with JB, I think I am changing my mind because that place does not intrigues me as before and I think Bali has loose it's charm for not showing any development and progress since my last visit.

Nothing has basically changed much in Bali other than the few new developments in Kuta which made the place even rowdier and dusty then before – I have to literarily close my eyes shut when walking past those areas and I also feel that my nostril gets full with shit easily during my stay there!

On this trip, we took two tours. One tour brings us to Tanah Lot-GWK-Uluwatu and the other brings us to Museum-Art Centre-Shopping around Denpasar. It costs us RPH 350,000 for the first tour and RPH 250,000 for the second tour.

On our visit to Tanah Lot, this time we were lucky enough to have managed to get across the low tide and drink the holy spring water in Tanah Lot. The locals believe that it is holy because there are two source of water that springs through under the temple that created two small ponds – salty and tasteless. I have tasted both and sure enough it’s salty on one pond and tasteless for the other. The temple authorities performs blessing to visitors by allowing people to drink from the ponds in return for a donation.

Tanah Lot

GWK (or Garuda Wayan Kencana) is a disappointment because there’s nothing much to
see in there. The ticket is expensively priced at RPH 50,000 per foreigner and the shows in the village only run during certain hours. So make sure to aim your timing better if you were to visit this place else then it’ll mean that you are just paying to see the few largely man-made statue of Garuda in the middle of a vast open area with weird landscape.

GWK (Garuda Wayan Kencana)

Uluwatu is still the same – infested with lots of wild monkey that is famous in snatching from foreigners. Only difference is now there are a few monkey experts that are working in the area to get hold of the stolen property back from these wild monkeys. Sometimes they succeed but sometimes they fail so just be careful rather than sorry.

Uluwatu

Bali Museum is actually a very very small museum that only consist of maybe three/four building and the Art Centre is not exactly an Art Centre because there you can find lots of small local businesses setting up booth to promote their product. So I think, it looks to me the Art Centre is actual more like a local flea market to get all the local products like silver, batik, message oil, and etc. Anyway entrance for the Bali Museum is cheap and, free for the Art Museum, so I can’t complain *grin*.

The only thing I can really complain other than the un-fresh air in Kuta and the boring GWK is that I’ve been ripped of by a taxi driver for giving back the wrong change to me - which I had cursed him to have a bad business after me... heh *evil wink* - serves him right to be unhonest.

York, WA

2011-06-05T20:58:00.008+08:00

York is a historical town which is situated approximately 92km of Perth, WA. A lovely place to go on a day trip, have lunch and drive back home just after the day turns dark.

One of the thing that really intrigues me is that the place is so historical that you can literally find anything that's old there... There's the old town hall, old court house, old post office, old fuel pumps, old fire station and etc. all over York. It’s like that whole town is an antic by itself that you’ll feel like you’re are in the black and white film from the moment you make the turn into York.

I guess the main attraction in York is the Motor Museum that is situated in the center of the town. The museum have a huge collection of timeless vehicles and entrance fee is reasonably priced at $8.50 per adult and $25 per family package. I am not really sure how old the Motor Museum is but, from the 'che-king' sound made from the chasier machine it gave me a pretty good idea that the museum would probably have displays which are as old as the 1950's or earlier.

ADDED: I don't want to spoil the impression that the town is so old that it is full with old people and that the town is actually 'dying'. As much as the town has to offer, York just can't seem to catch up with the change of time because young people are moving away. But I guess as much as York has loose its glory over time, it still has shown some resistance in totally fading away as people came to recognise York as a historical town in WA.

California Dream

2011-05-31T23:52:00.000+08:00

Thought of sharing this ... I like!

Tick Tock Tick

2011-05-31T23:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday my colleague's car window was smashed and the person who had broken in had only done it because he wanted the pair of old track shoe that my colleague had left at the back sit. The OLD track shoe was worth approx GBP100 but it cost my colleague A$700 to get the window replaced.

So I guess the lesson learn here is that, somethings are always worth something more to someone else...

The White Dress

2011-05-28T23:25:00.017+08:00

I have always looked at myself like I am a white stallion. Not the manly type, but rather the ones which are running gracefully & free in the wild. I was never a beliver in marriage and always a skeptic towards commitment. Not really sure why though but probably because I am mental.

Not only I have always thought that wedding and marrige are something that people do because they don't know what is their next move and what to make out from their life, I also have this idea that because people wanted to make babies and to make sure that the child is not called a bastard that they get married and that there is no way I'm going to get myself in those silly fluffy white dress...

But weirdly enough, those ideas suddenly changed today as I was on my way back when I saw this bridal shop which made me realised that somehow the white dress might actually be something that every women wants to have a chance to wear at least once in her lifetime, selectively, with the men that they love during the wedding ceremony. Which explains why all briads are always so pretty in the white dress, because these women are ready, hopeful and content that they will be experiencing their lifetime with the men that they had choosen. And I wish that one day I can be like them too, to be content in life with the choosen one.

Sticky Pig

2011-05-28T12:32:00.004+08:00

I have a sticky pig with me... and he's been sticking his nose in my business that I am becoming a little uncomfortable...

Tick Tock Tick

2011-05-22T11:53:00.005+08:00

I like money. Of course who doesn't like money.

With money, one can become pretty - buy make up and new clothes; own the latest gadget; buy a dream vacation, dream house, dream car and so forth. To have money, it is the ticket to luxury, convenience and wants. The more money we have, the more we are afford to own, and we'll become more powerful because we have the buying authority.

This is the natural thinking and we (as human) will always think and thought we know what we are doing but, what happens when the power of money pushes us to do things the other way round and made us loose our senses and neglect what is actually more imporant to us? Do we even know it when we are control by the greed to have more? What does it take to wake us up?

Get The World Moving

2011-05-21T18:36:00.004+08:00

Counting my steps with my pedometer. Been wearing this tiny counter on me for the past 2days and will be wearing it for the next 16 weeks!! It's a Global Coorporate Challenge (GCC) event where every staff in the office is signed-in (automatically) to get us out of our sits and start counting our steps to a healthier lifestyle.

Money vs Happiness

2011-05-19T20:28:00.006+08:00

When it comes to happiness, many a time we will think that rich people will be happier. But what explanation can we give when a rich person is unhappy?

This is a classic story of when a husband grief about how hard he had worked his ass off to give happiness to his wife only to find that she had left him because the time for love was consumed by work.

Jessie J - Nobody's Perfect

2011-05-17T19:37:00.005+08:00

At some point in life, we'll do something that we regret. Jessie's singing if she can turn back the hand of time she would have done things differently... but the truth is it time is not reversible. So, the only thing that we can do is learn from the experience cause nobody's perfect...

If blogs were to disspear tomorrow, what would be your parting words?

2011-05-16T21:17:00.004+08:00

Maybe I’ll take up counselling if blogs were to disappear tomorrow – just to keep myself sane. Or I'll die and go psych as a result of bottling up all the frustrations that I have towards the world in my caned size head. But wait a minute; probably it wouldn’t only be me because in this era that we are living in I’m sure there’s bound to be a lot people who is blogging for personal reasons… So I’m not entirely alone anyway *wink*... And to think of my parting words..? I guess it’ll probably be something like how the Wonder Girls sing it – I want nobody nobody but you (clap clap).

Zinio

2011-05-15T20:38:00.003+08:00

Another cool app that I found for my iphone... Zinio - the digital magazine app

What's nice about this app is that there are a varieties of magazines that you can buy from with a discounted price. Now when I say discounted, it means that the magazines can be bought as cheap as 50 cent per issue!

What's good about this app - other than it being cheap and paperless is that once you've bought a yearly subscription, you can also download past issues that was already released within the year's subscription. The digital magazines are also viewable on computers and ipad.

House of Pasta

2011-05-15T19:56:00.006+08:00

Something similar to Pastamania back home. Ordered the Fettuchini Portafino and Tortellini Roma which looks as though they are too little for lunch but are too much to stomach. Was so hungry when the food arrive that I just dig into it and forgot about taking photos.

Two large meal and a drink, Total value = $24.00 using the entertainment book discount. Normal price = $30.00

The Entertainment Book

2011-05-15T10:32:00.002+08:00

Lately I'll browse this book at least once a day to decide on what to have for dinner/ lunch. The entertainment book provides discount vouchers not only for food but also on neighbourhood activities. My best buy so far in Perth. Provides me not only with the local guides in Perth, but also tonnes of savings when eating out!

blogMe

2011-05-14T22:04:00.003+08:00

Trying out a new App - blogMe..

Cool stuff... Thanks Abet

Friday the 13th - My confession to faith

2011-05-14T20:43:00.004+08:00

It's supposed to be an unlucky day but, nothing really bad happened... well at least to me anyway... Instead I managed to get out from the office earlier than normal days...

In case you peeps are wondering how's my life now, I should say it's darn bored...

Work on Monday to Friday, stay at home on Saturdays - reading property books (still day dreaming to retire young) and Church on Sundays... because I suddenly felt enlighten... *wink-wink* - of course its a joke when I said enlighten (sorry.. dun mean to be disrespect)... but I am serious when I said Church... cause yes I am really attending one at the moment... every Sundays... hah!

I guess for me to go to a Church is more of a community thingy... to meet people and do something with the spare time... but most of all because JB is going... OopsS.. What have I got myself into now? A religious perk?! haha.. Lucky he's not too... hehe... *grin*

So why everyweek? Because he's sworn to brotherhood... and his brother goes to the Church...

Sunday Morning

2011-05-08T09:52:00.001+08:00

I miss the nasi lemak and Nescafe...

Search --> " Fridge"

2011-05-07T22:14:00.006+08:00

Hi, I am interested in getting your fridge for $100, is it still available?

Regards,
XXXX

This is currently my favourite search topic in Perth gumtree and I had been firing emails to every ad that advertises on bar fridge...

Rumor Has It

2011-04-28T21:55:00.003+08:00

A few months ago, rumor has it that he has moved on... then a couple of weeks ago it’s not a rumor anymore... I’ve always got a gut feeling that this is how soon it’s gonna happen... but never have I thought I am so right about things...

New Plans?

2011-04-21T19:38:00.004+08:00

It's been exactly 5 months since I left Singapore and my old life but, ironically nothing has changed much... I'm still peeling of the emotional and material burden, layer by layer, just like peeling an onion, sometimes making me tears unwillingly.

I’ve lose weight and I’m facing a wardrobe dilemma in which all my pants are hanging off my ass. Job is going on smoothly other than the fact that I don’t get (or tried to get) along with the angmo’s in my office (because I’ve become unfriendly – always preoccupied in my head).

I’ve settled my study loan, that’s one thing of my plate; but, I have yet to sell the house and it’s giving me (or rather Abet) so many problems – but, I can’t really do anything other than to hope for it to be sold quickly.

My parents that I’m living with now are good to me in a way other than the fact that they are not really sympathetic of me in my relationship – say I’m moving on too fast and that I am not ready for a relationship. It disappoints me in a way because I was hoping for their support. I guess their concern is that I should at least take a break first then move on, so that I am really done and over with the old relationship and that there won’t exist any overlapping feelings – which I totally agree. But the thing is they do not know that JB and I are unusual, that it’s in a circumstance of once in a blue moon that we had met and once we have missed this meeting window, there’ll be no us.

More than once in our long distance relationship that I’ve demanded a break up from JB because it's so hard for me to invest into us since I’m still haunted by the guilt that is stabbing every inch of my heart. But every time JB will convince me, remind me that if this is to happen long after my break up I’ll definitely be more enthusiastic about the whole situation... I cannot help but agree with JB because when I made the decision to be with JB that was the exact feeling that I got, that it’s a waste if there is no us and that I was prepared to try and gamble with my then already bruised heart.

And so to look forward, I am now making plans to move out from my parents and tough it up with JB – not immediately, but it’s gonna happen. Question is when?

Notification of Change

2011-04-04T20:04:00.004+08:00

I feel that it is a disrespect to put names into my blog, so I have removed some names in my blog... and now it's only me in the who's in it section...

The Grinch

2011-03-20T22:11:00.003+08:00

I have a personal grudge on marriage...I want to be the grinch that steal marriages away... Let there be no marriage in this world so there won't be no divorce and misunderstanding in how commitment and relationship should work... Urgh.. I think I can be a very good Grinch...

What Mum Said

2011-03-19T20:20:00.008+08:00

When I was just a little kid, I remembered Mum ever telling me that if you are doing things for a good reason, be it charity or not, there is no need for your to tell other people of what you have done... because by showing it off it'll just mean that you are an attention seeker... and the value of doing good is not really that good anymore...

Of course there is a few times that I would have just told my good friends about the good deeds that I have done... reason being I wanted them to do good too... but mostly I just kept it to myself until being asked...

Anyway I wanted to confess to everyone out there that I am a little bit affected (emotionally) by what had happened in Japan... Partly because I had worked in a Japanese company before... and I had a few bosses/ colleagues who were very kind to me during my service with the company... Though I might looked like I am indifferent towards what is happening in Japan, the truth is I can't help but thinking about how they are doing now because I've lost contact with them...

I just can’t imagine how I would have lived it through, all curled up at one corner in the shelter home... alone... feeling hungry and cold while sobbing for the loss of my loved ones... then blaming myself for having to made it alive everyday... it’s really saddening... So in the end... to make myself feel better, I made two donations to two different organisation who's helping out in Japan... though not much... I really wish I could have done more...

Amy Winehouse - You Know I'm No Good

2011-03-18T22:32:00.009+08:00

I've got nothing to do... so what else better then to search for video clips on youtube?

I didn't purposely searched for Amy Winehouse though... she just happened to pop out on the suggestion list… so I clicked on her anyway...

For anyone who’ve watched “The secret diary of a call girl” before – casting Billie Piper, this is the theme music for that series... yeaps... And so I did a little digging around on Wikipedia then I found out that the series is actually made based on a true story of a call girl (at that time) who’s a doctoral scholar now! - Well of course there's always a 'tweek' to the series to make it more interesting but, stories about girl working in the sex industry to pay for school fees is definately not a new thing...

It's just that when stories like this is being revealed it made us ponder on the value of doing something for the greater cause...

Roses

2011-03-13T21:22:00.003+08:00

On Saturday I received some roses and a blank card from JB…

The first thought that came to mind at the moment I received them was: “This guy gotta be kidding me...!? Don't tell me I've gotta warn him EVERY single week not to send me any more flowers?!?”

Then just when I was about to give JB a hard time for the flowers… UG excitedly came and have a peek at the box of roses.

“WOW… a dozen roses!” he exclaims…

“There’s a meaning to it G…”

So, curiously I took the roses away and placed them in the vase and immediately went online to google.

Fair enough there is a meaning to a dozen of roses… and in fact there is meaning for every single rose that you might not have thought of when it is given as a gift…

http://www.romancestuck.com/ideas/rose-symbolism.htm

So this explains the blank card..?!
Anyway he didn’t got the battering from me after that…

Angus & Julia Stone - Just A Boy [Official Music Video]

2011-03-10T23:33:00.002+08:00

I think this is a very cute song... a very sweet song that explains how men would feel when they are in love...

March 2011

2011-03-10T22:44:00.002+08:00

My trip to KL during early march, 2011 came and gone in just a few days... It’s all for the purpose of settling the unfinished business in Malaysia... and of course to meet up with LP and Abet and, have a meal at Madam Kwan... *grin*... It’s also the first meet up for JB, LP and Abet...

There was no highlight during this trip... no partying or doing anything fun as it is purely business... On the first day of my arrival I was already running between three places!! And in between my running around, I had fallen in love with KL all over again… Despite the heat, dirty roads, unorganized building, traffic and rude driver, KL is a place that has its own flavor and character that I feel somehow (in a way) resembles me - unorganized but progressing slowly at its own pace...

I was abit disappointed as I didn’t really spent much time with Abet though... to hang out and catch up... hopefully by the end of this year when everything is more settle we can plan for a trip together with LP...

No doubt it was a tiring trip, but at least it’s worthwhile...

Tick Tock Tick

2011-03-10T22:34:00.003+08:00

Always people say: “There is nothing that I can say...” and often enough also we hear people say: “There is nothing I can do...” But is it really true that when people start to say these two things, nothing can be done to improve the situation? Or was it because at that moment of time... we are so blurred up by the situation that we cannot see things clearly therefore we choose to just stand aside and do nothing... Feeling hopeless... engulfed by the whole situation...?

I Feel like Crap

2011-02-27T22:43:00.006+08:00

because:

I am inpatient...
I am not attentive...
I am self-centred...
I am unaffectionate...
I am inconsiderate...
I am not investing enough... and
I suck at communication...

Then worst part is these had been (and still are) my attitude towards the person that I had chosen to be my partner... ~ sigh**

I have always treat my friends and family members good... but I am not sure why is it this goodness that is in me cannot or rather should I say did not reach my other half... In reverse what they got is all my crappy insolence…

I know it is strange... I feel weird myself... and believe me... to decipher why I am like that is driving me crazy as well… because though I cared for my other half (exes or current), my impudence towards them is no doubt a fact that is recognise…

Not only I am a bad lover, I am also like a grumpy old granny when it comes to relationship…

Though it is a nice to have a companion in life... I feel like crap when I can't fight my own devil... Maybe I am just not fit for a relationship...??

Oh Darling!

2011-02-20T20:08:00.003+08:00

Relationship is not always about lovey dovey.. Sometimes it's about fighting, shouting, crying and begging to keep things going on... If, and if we do make it through it... these are what makes a relationship stronger and better...

I dreamt...

2011-02-07T08:06:00.006+08:00

...that I was running/jogging in a stadium...

In my dream, LP was already there running... So I went down and joined her... We only jogged together for a short distance went LP left the track...

I was determine to run for a couple of more rounds... But in the end, I only made it for another round when I saw a familiar face leaning against the fence... I went over and talked to that familiar face... then my dream move on to another scene in the girls shower... where I meet up with LP and Abet....

When I woke up... I can't remember whose face does it belonged to... all I have is this strage feeling of relief in me...

Chinese New Year Confession

2011-02-01T19:37:00.005+08:00

I miss my usual Chinese New Year where I will spend the days in Monkey's hometown...

Miss the smell of the place and also the laid back feeling it gave me...

A small town where everyone knows everybody...

From the time that we were together, that is the place where I'll try to be at every cny... Despite the fact that sometimes I need to travel from my hometown, back to my home and then to Monkey's hometown, I still like that place more than myown hometwon because it gives me the genuine feeling that everyone is a kind soul...

I wonder will the people I know through Monkey still treat me as friend? Or if I am already labelled as a b*tch by those nice people that I know there... sigh...

Perth, WA

2011-01-23T20:27:00.004+08:00

2011

2011-01-23T19:29:00.002+08:00

Never have I thought that when I am finally in Perth I am actually starting everything new - new year, new work and most of all new life...

It wasn't my intention that things would turn out how it’s supposed to be... Three months back I was a confused and depressed girl... hiding in her closet with her own demons... battling a war that was already lost... but now it seems to me that the three months back seems like a vague nightmare and is slowly disappearing...

Though everything looks fine now... but the truth of the matter is that till now I can still feel the disappointment stabbing every inch of my heart when I think of it... a disappointment that should have been confronted and worked on even before things happen...

I loathed the fact that it all came from me… that it was me who let myself think that I am alright with the loneliness that I felt… that it was me who thought that I am a superwomen and that I can handle the world for us... and that it was me who thought that this is something what we both want and we are willing to fight for it… but it’s not... and it made me lose my confidence... because all this while when I thought I am right, I was wrong all along… so wrong that everything just turn into dust in a matter of seconds…

It took me almost a month to figure this out, hence the loss of self-esteem… But I guess I am getting over it now… though the progress is not fast… but I am feeling better… and thanks to JB… I think I’ll be able to get my confidence back again…

2010 Christmas

2010-12-25T02:21:00.004+08:00

I missed my flight to KK the other day... was only late by 10 mins after the actual check-in time closes... tried to persuade the ground staff to let me get on the plane.. but the truth of the matter is I did not try hard enough... simply gave in because I don't really feel like going back either...

Johnny Bravo was upset and disapproved of my behavior because it involved not only money but also shows that I am a bad planner and is irresponsible for the things that had happened... His displeasure reminded of me how I had/ would have reacted when things don’t go as planned…

While Johnny Bravo was nagging his way at me, I can’t help but put on a thin line of smile on my face... while thinking: “Boy… he’s so like me last time!”

Then it reminded me of my first planned trip to Macau with Monkey which was cancelled because of bad planning… and a couple of more trips which was also cancelled and re-planned… so many that I had eventually changed my attitude towards the whole planning for a trip with Monkey and trying to make it work…

Due to the missed flight, I ended up spending my 2010 xmas in Singapore and stayed with Susan for 3days... though my dad was a bit pissed of... the stop over was very very worth while because I managed to meet up with some good friends of mine...

And If I had knew that Abet was in town it would be much better.. urgh... I guess next time then eh?

Clear Sky

2010-12-20T04:55:00.004+08:00

I thought I understood everything about love... but until my recent breakup… I don’t think I understand any of it any more than a seven year old girl… for all I know… I have been trying too hard… but the actual fact for a relationship is that you don’t need to really try that hard… because trying that hard will only make you forget yourself until you don’t know who you are anymore… All the liquor that I have had is only a lie and avoidance of the fact that I am fine from the loneliness that I felt…

Seven years is a long time… but to compare it to a lifetime… seven years is only a fraction of our life if we ever live that long…

I did not regret those seven years that I have had… because those seven years is where I have got my chance to know someone as wonderful as Monkey… and if I ever had the chance to say anything to him… it will only be nice words… I hope he can understand my decision… and I am only sorry for failing to let him understand me as a companion…

I really hope that the future for us both will be better… really really hope so… because only by moving on… we can become a better person… as much as it hurts… I am still a beliver that better days will come after a rainy day…

The World

2010-12-13T05:04:00.004+08:00

I once told a good friend of mine that the world has too much to offer for people with big dreams and once you have had a little taste of the world, you will never get enough of it...

On other accounts, the world to me is also like a relationship. As much as you want to experience it, something must be sacrifice along the way... like it or not...

Wish to Santa

2010-12-09T04:01:00.003+08:00

Two more weeks and I will be back to Asia – home.

But do I actually have a home?

Once, I’ve ever heard people say that home is wherever your loved ones are because it is where you will feel safe and belonged… I thought I had one, but unfortunately I lost my home a few years back when my family broke up… never really confess to anyone until now that I had never felt like I had a home after that… because it would make me look like a lost kitten looking for her way back...

I use to put up a smile to cover up… but it gets harder these days…

Though I am moving to Australia… it never occur to me that I will finally find my home again… it’s more like a transition and a change of new environment… the shadow of a broken home will always linger in me no matter where I go… and the more I try to deny it the harder it hits me…

I am glad that my mom and dad are both doing well… don’t know about my brother though… all I can do is pray that he has a mind that is stronger than me…

The truth is I had been lying to myself… I am devastated by the fact that my happy family does not exist at all… it’s all a lie that was painted to look OK from the outside… but in actual fact it is all for show… like how I have been keeping up with a smiling face even when I’m sad…

Tears don’t mean anything to me now… and I am finding myself harder to shade anymore tears… So this year, I guess my wish to Santa is I want to find my home again… and make up to everything that is gone...

Fingers cross... I still have a short term memory that works pretty well and I am thankful to it...

My 27th Birthday

2010-12-07T04:30:00.002+08:00

On my 27th birthday I received two bouquets of flowers, one from Monkey and the other from Johnny Bravo.

Though I am a few thousand miles away from them I still can’t run away… As much as I am happy, it still hurts so much inside… I thought I would be happy and forget about everything that had happened, but I guess I am just fooling myself…

Thank god I still have an angle over my shoulder to keep me from going insane… an angle sent from the half across the world to accompany me during my birthday… pepperanneperson

Castle Rock Hostel

2010-12-05T09:21:00.003+08:00

I am now sitting in front of a fireplace – a real fireplace that uses charcoal for heating up the room during winter, making the temperature in this room perfectly warm… there’s a whole lot of people in this room with me… most of them are immerse in their own things and everybody mind their own business… Though there are so many people in this room, it is perfectly silent.

Outside of this room, at the pantry next door, people are chilling away – playing billiard, drinking tea, yip-yapping and do whatever they can think of to get their mind of time… it is 1 am in the morning and there are laughter all around in the pantry.

Everything is perfect in the Castle Rock Hostel, Edinburgh.

Johnny Bravo..

2010-12-05T01:00:00.003+08:00

Since I've introduced Johnny Bravo into my story, I think it is only fair to spill the beans out – at least for as much as I have known or noticed so far…

Johnny Bravo:
1) Is taller than the average Asian guy.
2) Has a pair of little cute Chinese eyes which are not easily noticed because they are always hidden behind his fancy spectacles(ssS).
3) Likes to talk crap that doesn’t make sense but can be seriously focused on the things that he wants.
4) Is vainer then me and uses the toilet longer then me…
5) Is a lefthander who plays basketball with his right hand.
6) Likes to take his time eating his meals.
7) Talks to his big sister like he's talking to a business associate.
8) Is a planner that thinks of the future until scarily far ahead.
9) Likes to put on an appearance just for the sake of PR.
10) Is a curious cat who likes to analyse and understand every little detail of a situation.

Winter's Blanket

2010-11-25T03:34:00.000+08:00

It’s snowing outside my window and the weather is getting colder…
I suddenly feel that I am very tired again… emotionally… probably influenced by the winter’s blanket that was cast over Newcastle... Internet connection sucks down here… and wherever I go (in town or in office) feels like I am the black swan amongst the white flock…
The time zone difference made it hard for me to keep in touch with people that I care… and the fact that I am alone with nobody to talk to makes me go insane!! Training isn’t going well either… Till now my computer is not yet set up… So I am left in the office to do lots and lots of reading without any proper job in hand to start with… <--- this I hate the most! Arghh…

Newcastle

2010-11-24T03:22:00.004+08:00

View from my room at Night...

Overlooking the Tyne Bridge, Tyne River and the Gateshead Heritage Centre...

The New Beginning

2010-11-22T05:43:00.009+08:00

I have been walking around Newcastle today…
Nothing in my mind other than the lonesome winter…
I thought I would be doing some thinking on the whole relationship thingy… but I guess there is none to be figure out anymore other than the fact that I had changed…

Though Monkey might think that this is a third party issue… but on my end, I determinedly conclude that this is a problem that will happen sooner or later, with or without the existence of Johnny Bravo…

Newcastle upon Tyne is an old city where the history still hangs on... Like how Monkey still exists in my thoughts consciously or not… because he’s been a part of me for the past 7 years… And to be truthful, I can let go but to forget is impossible… because once upon a time I was indeed in love with Monkey…

In Newcastle, I am patching my heart for the pass and preparing myself to embrace the future for a long distance relationship with Johnny Bravo… It’s a brand new start for the three of us... and I really hope that one day everyone will be happy again and realise that this is indeed the right decision that was not understand at the time it happened..

Sex and the City

2010-11-21T04:08:00.006+08:00

It seems like I am running away… Coincidence or not…
I’m here in Newcastle… in a winter night… alone… cold… gloomy... and mending my thoughts...

What have I done?

I suddenly feel like I am the Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City… Confused over the love triangle that I have web myself into…

Two men, Aidan and Mr. Big…

Aidan = Monkey
Mr. Big = Johnny Bravo

Both men meant something to me… Aidan the past and Johnny Bravo the future…
I don’t know if it will get any more complicated… to care for both men at the same time…

Breakdown

2010-11-07T20:07:00.005+08:00

Last night I cried a river... and if there was a scale at that point of time to quantify my tears it would look like the flooded Orchard Road. I really never thought I would breakdown so badly...

I was disappointed, guilty and most of all scared because I just broke up with Monkey a couple of days ago...

We are still staying together... at least until my trip to the UK… Though we are in good terms but I am already beginning to regret for not moving out because it feels so weird…

I am just thinking if Monkey still don't get me seriously because although we had discussed this several times, everytime there is nothing from him... just silence... and after a while everything will be back to normal...

I had also kept my distance from him but I really can't tell if he gets it. So Monkey, if you are reading this... please understand that I am not joking...

Drowning

2010-10-27T20:39:00.010+08:00

My greatest fear.. is to loose myself..

To be unable to put a genuine smile on my face..

Because all I want is to be happy..

And I don’t want to spend my life wasting anybody’s time..

Some may say I need a therapy..

And yes.. I do agree that the problem is me..

So I break down and cry..

Drowning..

If this is a fairy tale.. forever there will be no sorrow..

Now where do we go from here?

As I am working on a reason..

To hang on in this crazy world..

Baby Please Don't Go - Mike Posner

2010-10-23T09:29:00.002+08:00

This is a nice.. I heart*!

It's Halloween Again!

2010-10-23T07:56:00.004+08:00

It's Halloween Again.. haha!

I've got my early Halloween adventure with Johnny Bravo.. after all the suspense...

Went to Singapore Night Safari - Halloween Horror, heard lots of screams when queuing up for our turn.. Panic! Thought I was gonna puke out my prata.. but it's not as bad as it seems... of course I got scared a few times.. but I had a great time... and most of all .. I made it out without throwing up… hahas!

For more information:
http://www.halloweenhorrors.com.sg/index.html

The Blower's Daughter

2010-10-19T22:47:00.003+08:00

I fall in love with this song when I was watching Closer with LP and Abet a few years back.. tried to google the song at that time but failed to find out the title and singer for the song...

Just when I am in the verge of forgetting a lovely song like this ever existed.. Johnny Bravo gave a surprise by mentioning the movie, the singer and title of the song during our normal hangout session…

I still remembered why I liked that song so much.. it was because I was at that time dreaming for a love that never existed.. till now I don’t even know if I believe in such things… and if I will ever have such a strong feeling towards anyone until I can’t take my mind off them…

It was a coincidence that Johnny Bravo brought it out.. really a coincidence…

Confession #4

2010-10-19T22:15:00.004+08:00

Dear Diary,

I got the offer today.

And I have been smoking.

I will probably be leaving Singapore on next month. Sooner than I thought.....

Medical Check-up

2010-10-18T23:30:00.007+08:00

Went for my medical check-up today.. Didn't feel very well inside but doctor says I am perfectly healthy..

I had loose weight though... 51kg now... still normal in terms of BMI.. but I used to be 54kg just two weeks ago…!! Sigh.. probably because I have been eating less (no appetite)… sleeping less, running more and thinking even more...

When the doctor asked me: “Any short breath?”

I answered: “No.” - a white lie..

Because the truth is, I don’t breathe that good ever since two weeks back… every breath that I take is like I’m inhaling bad air… poisoning me inside..

Anyway, enough of my predicament.. I need to distract myself and be focus..

To calculate your BMI:

BMI = weight (kg) / [height (m) x height (m)]

BMI Categories:
Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
Overweight = 25-29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

What a girl wants

2010-10-16T23:45:00.008+08:00

I was on emmo this whole week ever since I began to realize that my time in Singapore might not last more then two months.. I was overwhelmed, then panic came harassing my fragile mind and threatening my singlehood.

Monkey wasn’t making things easier for me either.. He is he… didn’t even noticed that I am standing at the edge of the cliff - about to plunge into the valley with my emotional crisis.

I was still in emmo this evening when I had the not-so-serious talk with Monkey at the sushi bar. And then I found out that Monkey does understand my feelings in a way that is not visible to the naked eye. Though he is still headstrong on the marriage issue, in which I tried to oppose to as much as I can, he is surprisingly ‘super’ generous when it comes to my freedom to choose the people that I wanted to hang out with…

The things that he said, reminded me on why I had cling on to our relationship for this long.. Though his inattentive attitude does drive me crazy but I guess it also suits me better..

Of course a girl is still a girl.. no matter how much we say we don’t bother on relationship, down right at the bottom of our heart, we still wish for a guy who can show at least a little concern once in a while - a simple text message when either one of us is home late or a quickie kiss on the cheek when we are in a hurry - those little actions are already enough to show that we are at least cherished...

Many The Miles - Sara Bareilles

2010-10-16T14:37:00.002+08:00

I was watching She's Out of My League when I heard this song.

Many The Miles - what does it mean?

I went and google the meaning of the song and I find that different people interpret the song differently.. So do I...

Am I going mad?

2010-10-16T01:44:00.004+08:00

I need a ciggy... because my normal medication (a.k.a alcohol) is unable to calm my nerves anymore...

There is too much thinking going on in my head.. I can't sleep at night though I am damn tired.. my heart is beating two times faster again.. and I am experiencing short breath even while I'm sitting stagnant in a spot... the sign of getting cold feet from the future is growing in me like a cancer..

It's a mixed feelings – excited but skeptical..

Waiting..

2010-10-14T22:45:00.009+08:00

This is another blog written on a night when I can't go to sleep...

I have got this plan to go traveling in Taiwan alone that I had to postpone because I am waiting on something... as usual, the waiting is painful but it's still bearable compare to what is going on in my head…

Then I remembered the song – love hurts by Incubus.. (which is one of my all time favorite..) and I guess the reason why I liked this song so much is written all over in the lyrics…

Probably Brandon was also trapped in the love spell while he wrote this song.. because love really can keep us from seeing the real thing..

Bus Ride

2010-10-09T21:19:00.020+08:00

I've had this idea for sometime but hadn't had the time to put the words together until now..

"Relationship is like a bus ride.

First, we must know where we are heading and the timing must be right in order for us to ride on the correct bus.

Second, every ride is different - the people and experience during each ride, to the same place, is never the same.

Lastly, you will never know the outcome of each ride until the end of each journey."

Over the years, I have had my series of rides. But, like always I have never known where I wanted to go. So I ended up hopping on the wrong buses and getting down from them with a story..

I started dating when I was 17 but, only on my second relationship at 19 had I got my heart torn apart so badly that I feel like I was being sucked into a black hole. My second is that someone who knows what I want and feel without having me to say it to him, that someone that shares the same dream and also that someone who is like me in many ways. Because we were too eager and falling in love so fast, in the end it caused heartbreak on both sides.

I have never regretted the decisions that I had made when I decided to get off the ride with my second because whatever is done cannot be undone. Through him I have learned a lesson, which is – to be in a relationship with your similar is not as simple as it might seem.

Everytime I looked back at that particular journey, it's like everything is unreal, and I don’t even remember what had driven me in some instance. All I can say is that it’s personal and sometimes I was acting out of control...

All sorted out.. (I think)

2010-10-09T08:31:00.005+08:00

Last night I had strayed again and I did it right under Monkey’s nose while he was sleeping..

I have had my defensive shield up around me this whole week, with Johnny Bravo that is – and as usual when I am pretending I don’t give a damn, it always fall back after a week because it’s too hard to be artificial.

Nothing serious has happened though because all we did were chatting on msn. Yeah.. so crony.. haha.. and as usual things can’t be settled overnight.. I was of course hoping for Johnny Bravo to tell me that it was a mistake.. but nope.. I didn’t get what I wanted to hear.. and from my intuition, I think it’s gonna be a long run this one** until he manages to find another girl who’s able to treat a relationship like it’s not the no. 1 priority in the world.. (hm.. come to think of it.. I was thinking probably LP could suit him… 'thinking cap on' ... tick tock tick... hmm maybe not.. she’s too quiet and he’s too crappy)

Anyway.. Johnny Bravo is gonna be gone for the following week.. and it’s a breather for me.. I’ll need the time to regain my openness towards our situation because I had decided not to run and hide away.. I am gonna treat Johnny Bravo just like before and let him filter out his own feelings when we are hanging out together…

Monkey has known about the existence of Johnny Bravo.. (I told him, and think he’s cool with it) so probably I’m not straying after all…

**I came to realize this when he was making a joke about us in his favorite city.. and it goes something like this: “a crazy girl and an idiot guy living together in an open relationship in downtown Manhattan, how romantic is it?”

Tick Tock Tick

2010-10-08T22:34:00.003+08:00

I first read about open relationship in an article written by one of my favorite blogger and I think that the idea for open relationship is really not bad at all, to an extend that I think I am probably practicing open relationship over the years without even realizing it…

The reason I have come to this conclusion is because I have never really been able to stay completely loyal to Monkey though I kept believing that… Because there’s always the straying.. Though it never happen directly, it always happened indirectly - staring at some other guy’s ass, hanging out with a best buddy and dancing with some guy in the club…

I got all this liberty because, Monkey, for some reason does not oppose to my ‘be-friending’ activity.. he gave me too much tolerance that I sometimes need to beg to be taken notice by him…

It has become a comfortable practice that I think am now beginning to freak out with his sudden intention of settling down. It felt like I had been living in a dream all along...

Confession #3

2010-10-05T20:59:00.003+08:00

It's not always I’ll have the chance to come home early and enjoy my evening like today.. so I've made full use of it by starting healthy and went for a run..

The main reason behind this running is of course not merely because I wanted to sweat, but mainly because - I FEEL LIKE RUNNING!!

I have been avoiding Jonny Bravo ever since his little confession - the confession in which he requires a glass of tiger and three whiskeys to tell, the confession in which was probably pre-planned and the confession that made me keep my distance.

I suppose not everything in life will turn out as we perceive it to be and sometimes things just happen.

It is expected that I will be treating Johnny Bravo coldly after that night but I am afraid I can’t keep up with the pretentious attitude. It is painful and hard at the same time because Johnny Bravo is not only my partner in crime; he is also my little black box (aside from Monkey - the piano size box) where I’ll unwind my never ending concerns.

Confession #2

2010-10-02T11:30:00.005+08:00

“I like you.”

His words caught me off guard.
I stopped scrutinizing the crowd and looked back at him under the dim light.

“I realized it when I was being to feel conscious about myself every time I am around you.”

“No. This can’t be happening..”

“You are not normally the girl I will like, and I’m shocked to discover this myself.”

“He’s my good friend for god’s sake..”

“I like you because I feel that we have a lot in common….”

“I like you because you are easy going and relaxed when it comes to a relationship...”

“And most of all, I like you because our idea of a relationship is the same, which is freedom...”

This happened just a few days ago and everything will not be the same anymore.
So, who’s gonna be my drinking kaki from now on??

Tick Tock Tick

2010-09-21T21:25:00.005+08:00

Late 20s is not really a comfortable age for an unmarried Asian lady to go through. Mostly because it is a taboo for the Asian elders and society to acknowledge that she is independent and not settled down to give birth to a dozen of babies..

For those who are in a relationship, they receive pressure from married peers and family members; for those who are still single, they would probably be living in the starry eyes of the traditional mind..

Settle down... what does that really mean? Is it necessary to settle down?

Women nowadays are unlike women from the older days. We don’t live in the same world where the reason we exist is to wait for a prince charming come fetch us on a horseback so we can live happily ever after anymore. That’s too naïve and soOo not the era where we belong to…

As I am planning my move to Australia, I am starting to wonder is that my ultimate destination? So what now after I’ve gained my PR? Am I ready to settle down?

It’s hard to describe my feelings.. There is so much more that I can do and experience in this world that to settle down and have kids seems like a chain tying me down… but then again if I do not make a commitment now will it be too late when it comes to a time when I’m finally ready to stop?

This is a dilemma.. it's like having a big sore in my *ss…

The Pinnacles, Nambung National Park, WA

2010-09-17T22:56:00.007+08:00

During my September trip No. 3, I managed to drop by to the Pinnacles which is also known as Nambung Park in WA. The park was situated approximately 250km north of Perth and roughly 15km from Cervantes. However, despite the location and distance, the road to the Pinnacles was really good. It took us almost 3 hours to get there from Perth.

On arrival to the park entrance, we were abit dissapointed because we had thought that our 3 hours effort are wasted on a couple of rocks. But once we drove into the Pinnacles trail these is what we saw..

a vast land of sand which appears to be like a desert with lots and lots of rocks sticking out from the ground.. and the view is spectacular..!

The Pinnacles is really the making of nature that you have to be there to see it for yourself.

September Rush

2010-09-14T01:21:00.005+08:00

September seem like the busiest month for 2010.. I've been traveling in and out of Singapore three times now and twice this trip involved travelling in a plane for 5 hours to the same place - Perth. Adding to that, next week I'll be off to Penang (again on a plane) for a-Siong's wedding, so in total that makes 3 oversea trips in a month. WoAHh!!? --> Seems like I'm travelling like nobody's business nowadays..

It makes me wonder, as I'm blogging, just how much carbon footprint had I left with my recent activites and what are the implications? Hmm... I don't know.. but all this trips sure is starting to drain the energy out of me..

September itieneraries:
Trip no. 1, 5th ~ 6th Sept, Perth
Trip no. 2, 11th ~ 12th Sept, Johor
Trip no. 3, 14th ~ 17th Sept, Perth (again)
Trip no. 4, 24th ~26th Sept, Penang

Lonely Hari Raya

2010-09-10T13:19:00.003+08:00

It was a lonely Raya for me this year. I was left alone in my house doing house chores, watching TV and surfing the internet as Monkey went off for his company trip to Sydney. My housemates are also gone (not sure to where) so I’m left home alone all by myself.

If I were in Malaysia I know for sure I wouldn’t be facing this dilemma of spending Raya without company because everyone will be busy visiting our Muslim friends, eating malay cakes, rending and curry chicken until we feel spoiled. But the streets here seems like it’s just a normal long weekend. No fireworks, no invitation to open house, no Raya songs in the shopping complex and radio, and all the TV programs are airing angmo movies..

Sigh… I suddenly feel like I’m a situation where I would use the phrase: “Even though Malaysia and Singapore are so near and close but sometimes it feels so far and different all together..”

So I guess I am still a Malaysian after all. Though some of my friends are starting to call me Singaporean and one foot Australian.. (haha..) but I don’t think I can get use to the kind of life where the three major ethnics celebration are not lavishly celebrated amongst the community..

Happy Hari Raya to All.. and Maaf Zahir & Batin..

Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

2010-08-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

Apathy has drawn me to read on another book that writes about self-search for peace - it’s definitely a sign that I’m trying to tame my wild ambitions because the nature of a living being is always to search for something that they lack..

And though whatever message liz is trying to pass on in her book is not something entirely new - which is to achieve self-contentment is by looking no further then where we are; her book is still no doubt another good read...

Have a Little Faith - Mitch Albom

2010-08-10T20:12:00.007+08:00

I'm not a very spiritual person but this is one of those books that I'll read it again and again like a bible..

Have a Little Faith was basically written encounters based on Mitch Albom’s meetings with his hometown rabbi and a Detroit pastor. The story revolves between these two men and religion who comes from different color and background but ended with his realization on how similar both religions are despite their differences – which is believing in something bigger than yourself...

I'm now an Advance!

2010-08-06T14:16:00.014+08:00

So I was suppose to go to P. Aur for my diving trip.. but turns out last minute the organiser changed the location to P. Tioman and I in the end enrolled myself into the advance diving course (yeah.. I know.. so many last minute changes)..

And just in case you are wondering what is the difference between the normal open water diving license and the advance license - advance allows you to go dive anywhere deeper then 15 meters and it also allows you to go on night diving! yeah.. how cool it is huh?

The course itself was easier compare to open water diving because we are not require to do all the skills like clearing the mask and switching our regulators.. but at the thought of diving in the dark, my nerves gave in and I ended up looking like this even before the night dive.. haha..

But the night dive turns out well and not as bad as I thought it would be.. I find that it was more relaxing compare to the morning dives.. and it was actually the best dive of all the six dives from this trip..!

Same like my previous diving trip.. this time, I went alone too.. Monkey didn't want to follow because he thought I am gonna drown him so that I can find another partner.. heh.. but it's fine with me.. I meet three nice bunkmates.. all three off them are frequent divers and they all have their own diving gears..

I kinda feel like I'm the koo-koo amongst them because when we were diving togehter I am the only one swaying from left to right, up and down, without control... but they were the total opposite of me.. gliding so gracefully underwater that you'll mistake them as dugongs! huh.. how I envied them!!.. eventually all three of them turn out to be my shifu in a way.. giving me advice on how to control my buoyancy then by the end of my trip I had managed to control at least a little bit of my buoyancy issue.. heh.. *wink*

July Updates

2010-07-20T22:03:00.003+08:00

All these happened in the short period of early July..
1. Got my so-called promotion to the job that I had requested..
2. Went to Medan, Indonesia with my ex-colleagues
3. Down with flu after the Medan trip

More to come for the remaining of July..
1. Singapore River Cruise
2. Pulau. Aur diving trip
3. Two pre-qualification (PQ) to submit

lets just hope that the PQs don't "tut" my plans for this month end...

12 a.m.

2010-07-13T00:22:00.000+08:00

and it's Monkey's turn to come back late today...

Lately it seems like we had been "avoiding" each other.. if it weren't me who's back late.. then it'll be Monkey... we have gotten so tided up with our work until we need to text and email each other to inform and discuss issues that weren't able to be discussed.. even dates on the weekends are arranged through text messages because neither me nor Monkey will be home at the same time...

Ironic it may seemed, if I were to put it in a nicer way to explain our situation, than it would be: "we are both responsible workers.." But lets be realistic, just how much would responsibility drive oneself to clock the extra hours after work? And who would expect an employee to dedicate their everything into a job without the manipulation from insecurity and money?

Yet here I am. Or would I rather say: "here WE are.." wary and greedy at the same time...

because in the end it is the unbearable thought of loosing our job and income that makes us work like a slave in this materialistic world and forget the things that really matters...

Spain Vs Netherlands

2010-07-12T05:42:00.001+08:00

and Spain won!~

it's Fantastico!~

By the way, do you know that Netherlands was ruled by Spain for over 80 years*??
And now in the World Cup, Spain had proven once again their supremacy over Netherlands..

*The Eighty Years' War, or Dutch War of Independence was the war of Netherlands against the Spanish King. Some also named it the war fought between Catholic Spain and the Protestant Netherlands...

Movie: The Runaways (2010)

2010-07-10T13:17:00.009+08:00

I'm always a big fan of true story movie and no matter how sucks the film turns out, just as long as they are a biopic film, I would definately recommend it..

The Runaways is yet another almost flop movie but managed made it to my "ok list" because it cast 1-and-a-half of the youngest + brightest talent in Hollywood (Dakota Fanning for full point of one, and Kristen Stewart for the other half)

O well... of course half point is already a credit for Kristen (I use to give her a quarter mark because her expression looks just the same in every film..!! probably its her dreamy eyes) either way.. if you've watched this 1970's movie about the all-girl band, The Runaways .. you'll totally agree with me that Dakota Fanning outshines her eclipse friend..

The Runaways movie trailer

Short clip from the movie

The 1970's Runaways

YuhuU!

2010-07-08T22:02:00.005+08:00

Hehe.. Spain won!
And damn! Paul the Octopus is correct again....!

Wonder who is he gonna bet to win for the finals? What ever it is.. Paul sure is in deep shit as football fans threaten to eat him.. He's already received a threat from fellow Argentinian (1) .... And sure enough after Germany's lost last night, he's life is gonna be more at stack in Berlin.... Poor Paul...

(1) Source: Wikipedia

Tick Tock Tick

2010-07-07T22:26:00.008+08:00

This year I will turn 27 and according to Monkey (once upon a time), 27 is the age when a girl should get married and have babies.. Then on recent visit back to Monkey's hometown.. the same statement resurface once again. Only this time, it came from Monkey's father and my reaction to it was - a moment of silence... then smiled and changed the conversation topic..

Of course that was just an act of politeness because deep down in me I was already screaming: "Oh No..!!! RUN!!!~"

If only it was that easy to take off.....

Sure enough I love Monkey.. Only thing is, up till this point I still don't understand why is it until certain age/time should we (as a couple) move on to the next stage. Why can't we just stay the way we are without getting married and have babies? Or probably just have babies but without getting married..? Why should we go through all the trouble of putting our signatures on a piece of paper just to to proof that our relationship is valid? Is it that important?

My Bow and Arrow

2010-07-06T22:10:00.002+08:00

This morning: A colleague of mine just tendered his resignation yesterday and we only knew about it today when our boss mentioned it to us in the departmental weekly meeting...

This evening: I went and approached my boss and expressed my interest for the post...

His arguement: Despite my previous experience, this is still something new to me and I should do some research regarding to the post/ job scope before making a decision...

My arguement: I'm clueless about the job scope but the post is my ultimate destination...

The conclusion: He'll talk to our big boss about it...

The agreement: I'll wait.. one step at a time..

My Love Letter

2010-07-05T21:05:00.007+08:00

Isn't it nice?
To wake up each day and see you laying by my side..
Snoring.. deep in your own dreams..

The Pretty Reckless

2010-07-05T19:46:00.008+08:00

Check out The Pretty Reckless..

Taylor Momsen (also known as Jenny Humphrey, Gossip Girl) sure is a gothic chick...! probably the next queen of rock.. watch out Courtney..

Joachim Loew

2010-07-04T22:15:00.010+08:00

Just when I was starting to feel that he's sexy and resembles Chris Noth (Mr. Big, Sex and the City), the German coach sure have some bad habits that truns people off!

Watch video and you'll know what I mean...

By the way, did I mentioned that those used to be my bad habit when I was a kid!?~

Guess Joachim Loew hadn't grow up entirely... what a waste..

Joachim Loew - German Coach

Chris Noah - Mr. Big

Germany Vs Spain: Finally here comes Clash of The Titans

2010-07-04T12:54:00.004+08:00

WoaAHhHH!~ Waka Waka..! (grin)

This will be the most anticipated match for the 2010 World Cup..

I know for some reason after the lost of England to Germany most people will support Spain... But for me personally, I'll support Spain because of Xabi Alonso (BIG grin~*!) haha.. I want to see him shirtless..!!~

Men.. this guy is one Hot-Dad!!~

Yeah... Bring it on Baby!~kakkaka

July 4th, 2010

2010-07-04T11:26:00.002+08:00

Happy Independence Day America! Lets celebrate it with fireworks they say..

Anyway should America be celebrating..?

Two months after the Deepwater Horizon oil spill...